A Complete Waste of Everything

What if I told you that there is something you do, and everybody does, that is a complete waste of everything - time, energy, talent, health, money, EVERYTHING!  You’d want to learn what it is, right?  So you could stop doing it!  Well, don’t stress about it, because stress IS it.

Stress is such a commonplace thing in experience that, by default, we assume it is a requirement.  Far from it!  Stress is not something forced upon us by a situation.  It is something we experience based on how and what we are thinking about the situation.  If you feel stressed it is because you are thinking stressful thoughts.  Stress hormones are released in your body causing your blood pressure to rise.  Fight or flight is engaged and you become tense and trapped in tunnel vision.  In the wild (we are in animal bodies after all) stress happens when death is imminent.  In a life or death situation, stress and its cascade of physiological changes, is a blessing.  But in traffic?  

“Oh no!  Traffic is horrible!  I’m gonna be late.  They are going to be mad at me.  I so screwed up.  Stupid traffic!  Why me?  I left in enough time!  I should have been fine!  Now, I’m going to miss this opportunity!  Maybe I can take a side street….  ITS EVEN WORSE!!!!”  What was accomplished by all that stress?  Nothing.  Did you make up time?  Nope.  Waste of time.  Did the energy you expended help at all?  Nope.  Waste of energy.  Did you think about picking up your cell phone and calling the people you are meeting, trusting that they will understand?  Nope, you were too stressed to remember.  

There have been countless times where I have been trying to “make something happen” and been very stressed about what was going on, only to have the situation resolve itself in a perfectly acceptable timing and manner.  The resolution would have happened even if I didn’t think myself through hell.  I’m sure you’ve had a similar experience.

So instead, when you find yourself feeling stressed, stop and ask yourself, “what am I thinking that is bringing me this experience?”  You’ll find you’re focused on the worst possible outcome.  “How could I change my thinking to feel good instead?  What would a person who isn’t stressed by this be thinking?”  

This isn’t a magic bullet, but it will help.  The more stressed you’ve become the easier it will be to argue against changing your thinking, to argue that your stressful thinking is right.  Keep at it.  Re-read last week’s blog about loving the monkey mind.  It will help.  Stress won’t.