I Have a Cold? God Must Hate Me...

This last week, I had a cold.  Colds for me have been, up until now, a pretty significant trigger.

This time, however, I was doing much better… or at least I thought I was.  I spent the first few days so unwilling to acknowledge that I was angry about being sick, that I convinced myself I was accepting it and lovingly caring for myself.

As the cold dragged on, however, my anger was more difficult to unconsciously subdue and eventually came out in all sorts of unkind words directed at God/Spirit.  Having finally voiced my anger, I was able to look at it more clearly and see what was really going on.  There was a belief that the cold was me being punished for some unknown and unjust reason.  Of course, I couldn't have that belief unless somewhere in my consciousness was a belief in a punishing, vengeful, uncaring, abandoning, lying God.  Several other self-judgments were involved as well.  

And, this is nothing new for me.  Every time I have been sick (up until now) I went through the same pattern relating to the same judgments.  It gets a little less intense every time, but clearly, I need a new strategy.  I need a strategy I can apply to any recurring trigger, something to do right away to get in front of it…

1. Make it 100% okay to be triggered, look very deeply for even the teensiest bit of triggering that may be present, and acknowledge it.  Ignoring or even subconsciously suppressing the fact that we are triggered only causes the upset to get bigger until we acknowledge it.
2. Go straight to the standard judgments or false beliefs (i.e. I’m being punished) and work with self-forgiveness right away.  (i.e. I forgive myself for buying into the false belief that this situation is the Universe punishing me.)
3. Look for any other judgments that might be at play and work on forgiving those as well.  

I could rattle off a list of the judgments I've dredged up when I've had a cold.  In my experience, I start to feel better, rapidly, as soon as I do these three things.  So why wait?  Rather than saying “I’m not doing that this time….” until bludgeoned by the experience into acknowledging what’s going on, why not check it out right away?


So what is one of your typical triggers – something that gets you angry/upset/pissed off EVERY time it comes up?  What are some of the typical judgments at play?  If you haven’t explored the situation in this way before, give it a shot.  Then, when it next arises, try the three steps above right away.  Is the intensity lessened?  Do you feel better sooner?

You may have to work with the same judgments many times before you forgive them for the last time, but it’s worth the time, effort, and attention.  The alternative is to remain a prisoner to your own judgments, when you are the only person with the key to unlock the cell.