Question Your Upset

“Love and upset cannot sustainably coexist.  In the presence of love, upset diminishes.”
-Church-Free Spirituality:  How to Craft a Spiritual Practice Beyond the Bounds of Religion (currently under publisher consideration)  

I recently came across an interesting technique to help get out of upset.  Whether our experience is one of frustration, sadness, worry, anger, or any other version of “upset,” there is a question that, if we sincerely ask it of ourselves, will work wonders in changing our experience.  

Lets use worry.  We all know the feeling of worry.  It has a tendency to start out small, then grow bigger and bigger and become more and more overwhelming and all-encompassing until there seems to be nothing other than the situation that appears to be the trigger for our worry.  When you find yourself in such an experience, ask yourself this question, “Who is worrying?”

“Who is worrying right now?”
“Ben is worrying right now?”
“Why is Ben worrying right now?”
“Ben is worrying right now because blah, blah, blah.”
“If Ben is worrying - who is asking these questions?”
“...  I am.  Ben is.”
“Is Ben worrying when he is asking these questions?”
“....no.”
“So who is worrying?”

Asking ourselves who is having the experience automatically grants us a bit of separation from the experience and provides the opportunity to look at our experience rather than be overwhelmed by it.  

Check out this chart….

All of these are experience we have all had.  So, which one are you?  The answer:  you are none of them.  You are the awareness that is looking at them.  Throw yourself into the “I am scared” box and so you are.  Pull back and observe the experience and you can make a different choice.  Have that choice include love, and watch the upset melt away.