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My past two weeks have been wonderful! I took four days off to do nothing but plan and begin writing my first book, followed up by a vacation of wine tasting in Napa Valley, where my wife Cheri and I tasted 51 different wines, visited 3 vineyards, and learned more about grapes and wine than we knew there was to learn. It was one of the most relaxing, inspiring, and fulfilling two weeks I have ever enjoyed (coming in second to my wedding and honeymoon). I spent these two weeks living life from the perspective of having everything in my life working as I want it to. Consequently, today prevents a particularly interesting challenge.
Today is Monday, my first day back to my job after two weeks of bliss. My job is a good job. It pays well, has exceptional benefits and actually does good in the world so I am certainly not complaining. There have been several other times over the years where I have gone on vacation and come back that were not nearly as difficult as this time. So what is the difference? Those past experiences were just vacation where as this time I was living the life of my dreams. I know what it is now to have my "full-time job" be writing books on spirituality. I now have a pretty substantial experience to contrast with my "regular job," and as such, returning to the status quo has been more difficult. I didn't sleep well last night. I felt a subtle anxiety all morning while getting ready for work. I got to my office and began to feel slightly depressed. Now, as a Metaphysician, I recognize that I am responsible for my experience. It is where I place my attention and how I choose to interpret what is going on around me that determines my experience. I know this and I "preach" it, so I had damn well better practice it, right?! And yet sometimes it is much easier said than done. Especially when the contrast between where I want to be and where I currently find myself is so much clearer than it used to be. The key is to realize that the contrast is just the contrast. It is not good or bad of itself. It just is. I can use that contrast to propel me forward, or to constrict myself and build another wall around my self-constructed prison of "the real world." The sooner we really get this the better, because there will ALWAYS be contrast. Contrast is a requirement of living a human life, but suffering is optional. The contrast in our lives might be uncomfortable, but despite popular opinion, discomfort does not equal suffering! How we look at our discomfort, or contrast, is what causes our experience of suffering and so we have the power, and in fact are the only place with the power, to end our own suffering. Again, this can be much easier said than done, but here are a few suggestions to help along the way... 1. Make it okay: As counter-intuitive as this may sound, make it okay for you to suffer. If all your energy is spent making suffering bad or wrong than all your energy is going towards the suffering and will prolong it. Suffering is okay. Contrast is okay. Everybody has contrast and everybody suffers at one point or another, so it is okay if you or I do as well. 2. Get a Buddha: I placed a small Buddha statue on my computer monitor at work to remind me that suffering is optional. Buddha's path to Enlightenment began with his recognition of suffering in the world and his intention was to eliminate it. For me, the symbol of Buddha is a good reminder. If that doesn't do it for you, find a symbol that does and place it where you can't help but see it often. Each sighting can become a reminder to see if you are experiencing suffering and, if so, to remember that suffering (while completely okay) is optional. 3. Work it: Recognizing that suffering is optional is a great step. Following it up with action and practice will bring greater results. Sit up straight or stand, take full, deep breaths, force a smile or do something completely random and silly to break the patter of suffering and get some space from it. It is easier to notice a pattern of suffering from outside of it than inside. So this has been my practice today. I'm doing better. I remind myself often that suffering is optional and give gratitude for the contrast, because now I know what I am racing towards instead of running from. Contrast is required. Contrast is okay. Suffering is okay. Suffering is optional.
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