Turn on the Light

"In your life and your spiritual practice you have complete authority and responsibility.  You can do with that authority and responsibility whatever you wish.  You can claim it, take command of your life and direct its course as you choose."  
-Church-Free Spirituality:  How to Craft a Spiritual Practice Beyond the Bounds of Religion (currently under publisher consideration)  

Not too long ago I was looking very closely at a relationship in my life with the intention of improving its quality.  I wanted deeper connection and conversation. I wanted to feel more important to this person.  I found myself wondering, “Why don’t they just do this or that?  That's all it would take!”  

Then I realized what had just happened.  I named what needed to be done to improve the relationship, but wanted the other person to somehow, magically, know what I had just thought and follow through on my thoughts.  If two people are in a dark room, and only one of them knows where the light switch is, who should turn on the light?  If I know where it is, but wait for the person who doesn’t know to find it and turn it on, all the while blaming them for the darkness in the room, aren’t I the one who is perpetuating the lack of light and making myself a victim at the same time?

Rather than waiting for the other person in the relationship to make the adjustments that I knew needed to be made, I made them.  It worked.  The relationship became more connected and fulfilling than it had ever been before.  I knew where the light switch was and I turned it on.

So where in your life are you sitting in a dark room, knowing full well where the light switch is, waiting on somebody else to turn on the light?  What excuses are you using to justify your inaction?  Even if they seem valid, is it really worth spending more time in the dark when you have the power to flip the switch?